I have a confession to make. My business isn’t growing that fast and it’s my fault.
I kind of suspect there might be a few more people like me, so I want to explain what I think the problem is.
I am in this weird situation where I have a lot of work to do, and I kind of want more, but I don’t have enough to hire another person, but I know that if I put more effort into sales I could get enough work to keep another person busy, but I can’t really put more effort into sales because I am too busy and I am not making enough money to hire someone full time to take stuff off my plate so I can do more sales…
But is this really so weird? Isn’t just about every small business person in the same situation? For example, I am a lawyer and I sell to lawyers. Lawyers are busy people who make a living by the billable hour. But I know a bunch of lawyers who could make a better living if they just invested more time getting new clients and found help getting the work done (or doing it more efficiently). So why don’t they do it? Why don’t I do it?
I think I know the answer for me. I have a very deep anxiety about people. Ever since I can remember I have been supremely confident about my ability to process ideas, and to get stuff done efficiently. Ideas get me excited. Getting stuff done makes me fell secure. So I lived in the world of ideas.
But in the real world ideas are not enough. Getting stuff done isn’t even enough. To really succeed in this world, you have to have good ideas, you have to get stuff done….and you have to get people to believe that you have good ideas and get stuff done. And I’m just not willing/capable/confident enough with my people skills to do that. When people don’t agree with me I tend to just write them off. I know my ideas are awesome, so if they don’t see it there must be something wrong with them.
That’s not a great sales technique.
So why don’t I just suck it up? Being good at sales is a choice…isn’t it? Well, maybe. I guess the answer is that I don’t really want to be good at sales. It isn’t who I am, and I have this deeply stubborn attachment to my own value system.
I don’t want to criticize anyone who takes fate by the horns and just does what needs to be done. years ago I wanted to get a job at Bridgewater and Associates. They have a very unique culture and I think it’s kind of like a cult, but I thought it might be a cult where I could succeed. As part of my job preparation I started reading about their Founder, Ray Dalio. One of his key principles for life is that you need to choose your goals and then be accountable to them. Then no one can stop you. I think his goal was to become a billionaire or something, and he did…so there’s a bit of anecdotal evidence.
Anyway, after a lot of self-reflection (for, like, 40 years) I finally decided what my goal was: I want to develop a theory of the good life, and then implement it. Maybe it’s just sour grapes, but I kind of decided that becoming a billionaire isn’t actually essential to my plans. Plus, I think it takes a lot of work.
What is necessary then? Well, one thing I think is very important is building a beautiful bubble of people around me that I can trust and interact with. And maybe some of them are more comfortable in the world of people than I am and we can help each other out. In fact, I think that trying to be the best at everything makes cooperation kind of hard, so maybe it’s okay to leave some holes in our personality so that there is room for relationships.
In the end I do want my business to grow. But I care more about how it happens than when it happens. Specifically, I want to grow my business by working together with people that I love and trust. So maybe it’s okay for me to slow down and not try to do it all, even if it is a bad business decision. Or maybe, in the end, focusing on teaming up with people that can compliment my weaknesses will lead to better results. That way I can succeed by doing the kind of work that makes me feel excited and secure while helping a few others do the same.
